


On Readiness

by scarecrowstories



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Holding Hands, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-25
Updated: 2019-06-25
Packaged: 2020-05-19 17:21:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19361308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scarecrowstories/pseuds/scarecrowstories
Summary: One evening during the beach cycle, Barry and Lup get a little bit closer to admitting they have feelings for one another. Neither of them is ready to say it quite yet, but that doesn't mean they aren't aware.





	On Readiness

**Author's Note:**

> Now I know what you're thinking. "Scarecrow, are you just going to keep writing cutesy Blupjeans?" Uh, Yeah, reader, yeah I am. Hope this makes you smile!
> 
> This fic brought to you by: seeing someone say that Owl City's Saltwater Room is a Blupjeans song. Hadn't listened to it in a goddamn decade and had totally forgotten how sweet it is!

"You know he's totally got a crush on you, right? Like, you're not blind."

"Ughh Taako please, not right now!" Lup hid her face in the crook of her arm, forehead thumping lightly on the table. It had been a long day, sunny as ever on the endless beach they all wished could be their new home. She'd spent the morning and most of the afternoon exploring some caves that were partially submerged with Magnus and Lucretia. It had been rewarding and fun and the exact kind of whimsical adventure she'd needed.

Taako grinned at his sister; he knew she was more likely to accidentally let slip her real feelings when she was this tired. "Oh, good, so you're aware. And get this: he has no idea you're crushing on him too."

Lup groaned even louder, the bright pink tips of her ears betraying the blush she was trying to conceal. She refused to look up. "It's just not fair," she said, muffled. At that, Taako sat down next to her and put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "We have no idea how long we'll be on the run like this. There's too much at risk. It sucks."

He nodded, rubbing small circles on her back now. "You're right, it's not fair. But, like, what can ya do? I'll tell you what I told him: nobody ever has enough fuckin' time, but we do. And don't we deserve to be happy?" Taako put his head on the table next to Lup's so he could look at her peeking out under her arm. 

A moment later, she shifted her arm to hide the eye that had been visible. "We do but…"

"But what? No, seriously, give me one good reason why you and dear Barold shouldn't be going at it, like, on the daily." Taako slid his face into her arm, poking it with his nose. "You can't, can you? You're lucky I didn't tell him you feel the same!"

Silence. Then Lup turned her head, still muffled by her arms, and in a small voice said, "But what did he even say? He didn't, like, confess to you, did he?"

Taako sat back up triumphantly. "Come on, you know Taako doesn't spill the beans that easily."

"Bullshit, yes you do."

"Well not today I don’t! You're both adults, you'll talk about it when you're ready." He stood and patted her on the back. "I'm gonna go catch some of those good nighttime waves. I'm pretty sure Barry's still out there if you wanna come?"

She thought about it for a moment before she stood up as well. "Yeah, sure, I haven't seen him today. But don't you dare pull anything!" Lup managed to look sufficiently menacing despite the sleepy haze in her eyes.

Taako threw his hands up in front of him in defeat. "Hey, I'm just going surfing. If you two decide to finally talk things through, that's on you. Or you can wait another twenty years that we might not have. I'm just sayin'."

Following Taako out of the ship and onto the beach, Lup cherished the feeling of the sand between her toes, chilly now that night had settled. The waves crashing on the shore had become one of her very favorite sounds. Something about the sigh of the receding tide giving way to the steady rise of another wave felt to her like rebirth, a world that was living and breathing around them, safe and indifferent. It felt like this beach existed outside of time, just like the seven of them.

Of course she knew that her brother was right. It had to be painfully obvious to their family by now that she was in love with Barry, and she couldn't think of any other way to interpret his demeanor that didn't suggest he felt the same. But if she knew Barry as well as she liked to think, he would also be concerned with the same things that she was: how could they enter a romantic relationship now, of all times, of all places? What they wanted couldn't be allowed to matter when existence itself was at stake.

"Lup! Hey! Magnus said I should ask you about the caves! What the heck happened?" Barry had seen her and walked over, dressed in a plain tee-shirt and cut-off jean shorts that he insisted on calling his 'beach jorts.' The smile on his face warmed Lup's heart like nothing else ever had.

She smiled back, pointedly ignoring the look Taako was giving her over his shoulder as he headed towards the water. "Oh, yeah, it was hella cool. Lucretia def has some drawings you'll wanna see!" The two of them walked closer to the edge of the water while she told him about her day, the cold seafoam brushing their ankles every few moments. Lup felt her exhaustion melt away, replaced with the happy hum of sharing in a joyful story with a loved one.

Whenever she said something that made Barry laugh, her heart skipped a beat. Even in the moonlight she could see him blush faintly, tender eyes lingering on her. The soft smile he had fixed on her was the most beautiful sight she'd ever seen. He probably didn't realize she could make out such details with her darkvision; how endearing.

"So what'd you do today?" she asked when she finished her tale. They had stopped walking now, moving to sit side by side on a large rock. The shallow waves licked the edges where their feet were resting, a chill spray misting their legs with each crash. There was a comfortable distance between them, but Lup had to stop herself from reaching for his hand that way she would with Taako. 

It should have embarrassed her that she felt the urge for such casual intimacies with someone other than her twin, but it didn't. After so many years of it just being the two of them relying on one another, they finally had a family, and with that love came a want for physical closeness. The seven of them were getting better at being openly affectionate with one another, but it still felt odd to Lup to cross that line with Barry. She loved him too much to risk his discomfort.

To her surprise, Barry sighed. "I won't lie, I had a rough day. Nothing bad happened," he added quickly, averting his gaze. "Just… You know how it gets sometimes. I'm grateful we have this cycle to rest, but thinking about what's gonna happen next can be so overwhelming." His hands were folded in his lap, fidgeting as he continued. "And, well… I know we all try to be open about that sorta thing, because holy shit, can you imagine how stressed we'd be if we kept it all in?"

Lup tried to give him a comforting smile as she put a hand on his shoulder. Nobody in all of existence could understand what they were going through outside of their small family; they couldn't afford to hide their pain from one another, even though it was inevitably awkward at times. "I know it's hard. But I'm here, okay?" Sometimes the risk of discomfort had to be taken; the way his muscles relaxed told her it had been worth it.

He sighed again and glanced up at her shyly. "Yeah. Thanks, Lup. You're the best friend I've ever had." There was a brief silence as they sat and listened to the waves, moonlight peeking through the clouds and glinting on the water as far as the eye could see. "Do you wish things could be different for us?" he asked softly.

Without pulling her hand back, Lup hoped she didn't sound terrified of where the conversation was going. "How so? Like, with the mission, or…?"

A pause. "Or…?" Then it seemed to click. "Oh! Uhh, well, like, I guess both?"

At that Lup chuckled; seriously, how could he be so adorable? "Yeah, sometimes I think it'd be nice if we could've just done two months of cool adventurous shit and then gone back home and kept working at the Institute." She let out a long shuddering breath. "But also no. Barry, you'd be, what, seventy years old now? I don't want to lose you so soon."

He thought it over a moment before nodding. "Yeah, I know what you mean. That's kinda what I've felt, too. Some days I can hardly believe how long it's been, but gods, getting to grow close to you all has been such a gift." Barry shifted so that his legs were tucked under himself and he was more fully facing Lup, eyes bright. "I try to remember how lucky I am to have this much time with you, and Lup, that's what gets me through."

"Me too," she answered. "I know it's probably weird for you. Elves live for hundreds and hundreds of years, so like, twenty-something with you all isn't that much, but I know for a human that's, like, that's it. That's most of your adult life." Lup poked Barry on the cheek. "So I'd say you're looking pretty good for such an old man," she teased.

He brushed her hand away and poked her side, delighting in the surprised squeak she made. "Oh, I'm so sorry we humans spoil like milk, it must be nice staying so beautiful for centuries," he joked back, realizing a moment later what he'd said.

Lup realized too. "Do you really think I'm beautiful?" She was too shocked to keep up her light-hearted tone, focused on not sounding too hopeful or presumptuous.

"I-I, uhh," Barry stammered, sitting back and fumbling for his glasses to have something for his hands to do. "I, yeah, I do, I think that," he murmured. "I hope that's not weird, I'm sorry, I'm being weird aren't I?"

"No, not at all, I just, uhhh…" Lup was at a loss for words. She didn't want to harm the relationship that they had just because she selfishly wanted it to be more, but she also couldn't stop thinking about what Taako had said. Of all people in existence, they had enough time. Shouldn't they make the most of it? "Thanks," she finally said. "It's nice to hear you say that."

Barry grinned. "I don't think I've ever seen you get shy like this," he admitted with a chuckle.

"And that's a wrap on emotional vulnerability hour. Tune in next week for a chance to experience another installment," Lup announced, standing from the rock and offering a hand to help Barry up. She wanted to kick herself for withdrawing just when they may finally talk about their feelings, but she wasn't ready. 

"Of course," Barry said. The look in his eyes would have infuriated her if she weren't so in love with him. He looked at her with patience and kindness and compassion and so much love that it hurt. He knew that she wasn't ready, and he wasn't going to push. He took her hand to pull himself up. "I think I see a bonfire down by the ship, if you wanna go join them?" 

Nodding, Lup let her hand linger in his. "Yes please, let's get some late night campfire spooks going!" Despite her better judgment, she didn't let go. It was an innocent enough gesture, holding hands, she reasoned. And if they weren't ready to put words to this yet, at least she could take comfort in every step of the way.

Barry's hand in hers was warm, his skin soft. It was a simple thing, and so easy, to walk hand in hand. When they were finally approaching the fire they both let go, exchanging timid smiles. They were greeted warmly by their family who waved them over to sit on the blankets in the sand surrounding their bonfire. It had become a nightly tradition in this cycle to sit around and tell stories, sing songs, and celebrate as much as possible. 

There would come a time when they would be ready to ask more of each other, but they both knew that the time hadn't yet arrived. And for now, this would be enough. Lup wished they could allow themselves to fall in love like normal people, but with their circumstances that was impossible. And tonight had confirmed for Lup that Barry wished it too.

One day, she thought, as she settled into bed hours later. She knew that she would be ready one of these years. Until then, she was grateful for what they had: time enough to love without fear of loss. If they weren't bound to existence by their inexplicable immortality, the chance for a relationship with Barry would have long since passed. 

It was difficult for her to think about their journey as fortuitous, but she wouldn't trade anything for the opportunity to love him this long. Most elves avoided such relationships with humans for that exact reason. And yet miraculously, they had all the time in the world - quite literally - to love and be loved by one another. 

Down the hall in his own room, Barry was thinking much the same. He knew how Lup felt, though it was hard to let himself believe it. Truth be told, he wasn't ready either, as ridiculous as the notion was given a human's typical lifespan. 

They fell asleep thinking of one another. They weren't ready yet, but that was okay; both knew that one of these years they would be, and that it was absolutely worth the wait.

**Author's Note:**

> Give a fella some feedback, yeah? hmu!


End file.
